July 2011
5 posts
If everything could be right then nothing could ever go wrong. I guess sometimes things go wrong for other things in our lives to go right.
Thought of the day.
It’s hard to believe in something when you find out it never existed.
Abby
The one thing that always makes me smile is when my dog walks into my room just to check on me :/. I love my puppy and I’ll be very sad when she dies :(
wonder if
I died…who would be there? Who would care? Who wouldn’t care? Death is something that I know will find me some day….but please before it does…let me be happy :/
God thank you for the amazing night :)
June 2011
9 posts
:) smiles.
God… I’m sick of the tests…I’m sick of the trials…only to come up with nothing all over again. I’m sick of people not being there for me when I would be there for them in a heartbeat. :/. I just wish I could be happy again. This is so difficult for me…I’m just not me anymore…and I wish I could be :/
Why do people have to be so fucking shady?! Answer a phonecall…answer a text…that simple.
What about me?
I really feel like people are rude…like at least have the curtesy to say hey I can’t hang out tonight but how about such and such time? I really can’t stand people that try to avoid telling the truth…like my ex.
Roller coaster 2
My roller coaster has been chugging along for awhile…I think it’s time for another loop de loop :)
Wow…what an ironic day :). Thank you God. :)
:/
When will he be back. When will he lay in my arms again. :/. When will he only want me? :/. I pray every night for that day to come…but the light at the end of that tunnel is very far, so far that the light shining is like a star in the sky, just barely visible. :/. Please come back to me babe :/. Drewby misses you :(. He needs his Koala back :/.
I had a dream last night that I caught Brett having sex with another guy…
That was the most searing anger I have felt in a long long time.
It’s always darkest before the dawn. :)
May 2011
10 posts
Games.
He plays the same games…that’s why I get upset because I feel like he thinks it’s a joke… :/. All I want is to be able to go to Perkins again :/ on those late nights and be able to look at him and smile and have him smile back :/. I love him so much and yet I don’t think he likes me anymore…:/. The feelings he had aren’t there… :/
.....AH!
I am going crazy I need to do something to keep my mind off of him. It’s driving me crazy :(
:'(
I’m having Brett withdrawal :(. All I wanna do is talk to him :’(
Late
Me being late to something, someone being late to something…punctuality is definitely something I consider to be a good judge of character. I HATE being late to something, it’s an embarrassment to myself.
Yup…one of my biggest pet peeves.
:/
Hands on Deck - Waking Ashland
(song for Koala) :(
Trying to stop your leavin'
“you don’t love me…you don’t love me anyyy more :/”
Gotta move on :/
Last night I had a dream that my dad had brain cancer…my ex was seeing someone and wasn’t telling me… :(. What wonderful things to dream about.
Thank you God
Thank you for this beautiful sky on a day when I really needed something to cheer me up. Thank you so much for Ke$ha on a morning like this…thank you for who I am. :)
happy 21st.... :'(
What a wonderful start…I’m already crying :(…..I fucking hate this :(……I just want to be happy again :(…. :(
Again.
Apparently I wasted 5 months of his life… :’(
April 2011
11 posts
...softie.
What can I say….
:'(
Today isnt going well…I am thinking about him way too much :(….I wonder if he’s even thinking about me :/
Aww
Tonight turned into a great evening with him…I’m so glad we were happy again…we were normal again :)
.
Tomorrow is another day….
...ugh
I’m sick of the games…can’t it just be…and not question the existence. :/
...weirder
One of his ex’s tried adding me on Facebook….added me and then deleted me…fucked up.
Ugh
This is so stressful…I don’t even know how to handle it.
.
What a bitch…
OC!!!
Just bought tickets to Owl City, can’t wait to go! I actually didn’t have a single problem with finding someone to go with me :). He’s adorable :)
life amazes me..
I am pretty amazed at how things work out in my life. Someone out there is watching over me :) Thank you…whoever you are :)
- DNP
Work...
Thank god for Ke$ha…her music is pretty much the only thing that I love completely and never get sick of haha. We R Who We R is amazing… :). I really don’t wanna be in the freezer today…I will probably be crabby…but that’s life…gotta deal with it one day at a time. I wish I could have gone to Chicago with Joe, Jake, and Q…even though I don’t...
March 2011
35 posts
?
Why did he text me last night….I don’t get him whatsoever. I also find it kind of funny that if I swear at him…he can’t handle it but it’s ok for him to swear at me…fucked up if you ask me.
....called it
yep….
I started crying again this morning….I seriously don’t know what to do with myself….I feel like I lost the main purpose…the one thing I was working for. :/ I don’t know how to handle this :(
Hurry up and wait
I’m giving him space again…I have a feeling that I won’t get the outcome I’m expecting.
Last night...
Last night I came to the realization that he has lost the feelings that he once had for me…. :( I cried myself to sleep…because I have completely lost him forever.
Goodbye time.
I don’t think that will ever come….honestly….i will love him until the day I die. :)……..this is crazy haha :)
Stories
This song says so much more to me now…for some weird reason :/
Why can’t I just be chill like how I was in high school…I was happy all the time…happy with how my life was…happy because i had close friends. :/
Most of them have left me for others. I just want honesty in my life :/ I was so used to my dad making fun of me for every single thing that was part of...
Hmmm?
Why did nick message me the day after I got deleted…asking “are you still together?”
...
I can’t even begin to describe how much I hate fighting and arguing with him.
Over the river and through St. Paul
Lol I know I’m a loser but I will be going to my grandma’s :). I haven’t seen her in a long time, I wonder how’s she’s doing :)
:)
I feel on top of the world :P
good.....lord.
Should be a busy week! :) No plans tomorrow night…probably won’t go clubbing but there’s a slight chance. hmm maybe it’s about time to wash my sheets….its been a few months.
Better start the creative writing shtuff.
- DNP
:/
I don’t want the last thing he ever says to me to be “you’re ridiculous” :(. That isn’t a closing to me :/. This is starting to eat away at me again :/
Dutty dutty dutty duh.
Why is it so hard for me to let go :/. Clearly he doesn’t want to be with me anymore… :/. I don’t know…maybe I need him to actually say it to my face. :/….or tell me flat out. I seriously can’t believe it until he actually says it.
Let's make today even better :)
Hanging out with Jamie tonight….maybe make him buy me food haha :) Making one phonecall around 9 and then waking up for work at 5am :). So far today is dull and I wanna make some entertainment :). I am gunna go for a drive, it’s so nice out today! Maybe take some pictures if I see anything cool :).
I think therapy is a thing of the past for me…I feel like it was a waste of...
Good day today :). Went out to eat with Joe Amanda and Laura :). Thanks for coming guys :)